i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
