Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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