If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
mondays should just be called national damage control day
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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