I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
My friends, they love my intelligence
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
