and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
