i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
