I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
