Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
