I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
