Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
