Sry I called you an 8
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
