i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
