everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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