Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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