why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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