y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Dignity is for republicans.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
