After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
