I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
