dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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