direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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