i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
