We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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