ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
