i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
