Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
