Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
