my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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