cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
