So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
