he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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