I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
