If that was your dad, he is hot
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
