I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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