We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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