College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
