Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
This is my gift to your gina
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize