remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
