whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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