What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
