I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
