Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
did i just pee glitter
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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