I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize