the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
