he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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