Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
