I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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