he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I FOUND THE LEGS
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
