I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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