Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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