How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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