I just made out with a guy for $7.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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