Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
