if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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