thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
