at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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