When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I still have a little drunk in my system
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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