i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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