who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize