return my video game
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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