Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
