ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
