I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
