I think im going to throw up on grandma
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
